


How Long Will I Love You? (As Long As Stars Are Above You)

by Natalie_Carson



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Happy, Letters, Sad, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 18:10:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15612036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natalie_Carson/pseuds/Natalie_Carson
Summary: Jake had a habit of writing letters when he couldn't say the way he felt. Usually after writing them he would put them in a folder stashed under his bed forgetting all about them. That is until Amy and him move into together and Amy finds them.





	How Long Will I Love You? (As Long As Stars Are Above You)

“Babe?” Jake called into her bedroom where she was unpacking a box of his things. “Imma go pick up the pizza and then we can take a break to watch tv?” He had finished unpacking one of his boxes in the living room. Looking around the room, he's astonished by how much homier the place was.

“Yeah that’s fine. But you better have finished that box!” She shouted back at him.

“I did.” Jake said as he grabbed a pair of spare keys off the counter and left her apartment. Their apartment he reminded himself. 

Amy continued to go through his box of items taken from his bedroom at his apartment. She put his things where they belonged in her bedroom, their bedroom. After some time, she came across a manila folder. It seemed out of place in his box, why would Jake be carrying around a folder like that. She put the folder in the drawer of her, his, nightstand.

She tried to unpack the rest of the box, but she couldn't stop thinking about what was in that envelope. Finally, something in her broke and she took the folder out of the nightstand. Amy headed into the living room dumping the contents of the folder onto the table.

Pieces of folded notebook papers sat on her table, and her hands shook as she reached for the first one. She unfolded the paper and started at his sloppy handwriting. Anytime she looked at his writing she felt pity for every single teacher he had ever had. But sitting across from him for all those years having to read his reports, Amy had become a master at reading it. She had even grown to kind of like it. The letters on the paper somehow perfectly represented everything about him. She skimmed the paper and felt her heart leap to the back of her throat as she realized what it was. 

_Charles,_

_I’m not sure that I’m going to make it out of this alive. You know I’ve never been very good with emotions, but I thought I would try. I guess I just want to say that you’re the best partner I’ve ever had. This is harder than I would’ve thought. Why can’t there just be some way to telepathically share my thoughts with you. If I die I want you to have my desk, and all my copies of Die Hard. There are like twenty of them. I know you always wanted me to say you’re my best friend, so I hope that having it in writing is enough. One last thing, if I die, I need you to teach Amy how to drive stick shift._

Amy folded the paper back up the same why Jake had folded it when he first wrote it. She put it back on the coffee table wondering what was going through his mind when he wrote it. If he truly thought that he was going to die while undercover, he never led on about it. Then again he never talked about it at all.

She reached across the table and grabbed the piece of paper crumpled up into a ball. Being very careful she unfolded the wad. The writing on this one was different than the handwriting she usually saw. It was somehow worse, if that was even possible. Once she had deciphered who this letter was made out to, she wondered if she should be reading these. But curiosity got the best of her and the damage had already been done. 

_Dad_

_Mom says you’re not coming home anytime soon. Actually she said that you’re not coming home at all. But I think she’s wrong. She can be pretty negative. I’ve been practicing batting in the backyard with Gina. She doesn't throw as good as you do though. She said that you were a bad dude, and I was better of without her. But I told her she didn’t know what she was talking about. My game is on Friday, you don’t have to talk to mom if you come, I won’t even tell her you’re there. Also if you ever fly into Alaska or Hawaii those are the only two postcards I need before I have them from all fifty states! I really hope you come home soon._

Amy quickly folded the note up, feeling even more like she shouldn’t have read it. Anger boiled in her veins at how awful Jake’s dad really was. When he had showed up during his birthday party, Amy had thought he was overreacting. But now she was starting to wonder. 

She took the rest of the papers and opened them. There were notes addressed to everyone on the squad. There was another one to Charles, a couple to Rosa, Gina, and Terry. There was even one to Holt. Yet there wasn’t a single one addressed to her. Everyone in that folder had two notes at least. One from the mafia and one from Florida but there wasn’t a single one for her. 

“You wouldn’t believe the load of bullshit Tony’s tried to sell me!” Jake said as he walked into their apartment carrying a pizza and a two liter of orange soda. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what Amy was holding. His folder with the letters.

Jake almost dropped the pizza box as he darted towards the table trying to take them away from her. He sat on the floor by the edge of the coffee table and scoped them all back into the folder where they belonged. When he looked into Amy’s eyes though he saw a look of hurt. 

“Why didn’t you write to me?” She asked in an almost whisper. She didn’t mean to be needy, but it did kind of hurt that everyone got a letter except for her. Jake got up from where he was sitting and retreated into the bedroom. Their bedroom. She opened her mouth to shout something about not walking away from her. The words were on the tip of her tongue, when he walked back into their living room.

He dumped it out on the coffee table and at least ten times the amount of paper spilled out of the folder. She watched as he started opening the letters one by one almost as if he was looking for a certain one. Finally he handed her a folded up piece of notebook paper. 

Amy took the letter from his hand a look of confusion crossing her face. All Jake did was nod in response reassuring her that it was okay to read it. Slowly, as if she was afraid, Amy opened the first letter. It was from when he was in Florida.

_Dear Amy,_

_I miss you like crazy. I can’t even describe it. Florida is a garbage state for garbage people. And I mean that. Don’t ever ask me to take our kids to Disney World. They can go have some quality fun time at that abandoned amusement park. You know the one where we always catch all the drug dealers. You think they would stop using it after we get them there once-not the point._

_It’s too hot down here. Anything over 60 degrees is too hot. The average temperature down here is 95. 95 Ames! I’m starting to wonder if Figgis has no intention of killing me himself, instead he’s just going to let the heat do it._

_I can’t sleep at night, I miss my pillow, and I can’t stop thinking about you. All I want is to hold you in my arms and watch you sleep. Is that weird? Feels a little creepy when I write it. Not being a cop sucks. I’m working at an ATV store. I don’t know the first thing about them. And my stupid boss is making me drive one. He’s even worse than Holt was when I first met him. At least down here I don’t have to wear a tie._

_I’m never going to mail this, and you’re never going to read this, unless I’m dead of course. Real talk alert. So I guess that I’ll just write what I want to. Here goes, I want to marry you Ames. Wow that felt so good to get it off my chest. But it’s true I want you to be my wife, I want you to have my babies, okay sounding creepy again, but it’s how I feel. And if I something happens down here, I would be pissed at myself if you didn’t know. Wow getting a little bit of deja vu I guess. That’s all I got to say I guess. So love you, I don’t know how to end this, so imma just stop writing._

_Love Jake._

Amy wasn’t sure at what point the tears had started to fall but at this point there was a steady stream. She couldn't help but notice that the paper had been wet at one point. It killed her to think of him crying when he wrote it. 

Jake moved from where he was sitting on the ground to sit down next to her on the couch. He pulled her into him wrapping his arms tightly around her as she sobbed into his chest. He could feel the tears as they soaked through his shirt. “Shhh.” He said as he ran his hand through her hair. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay Ames.” 

“You want to marry me?” She asked as she pulled away enough so that he could hear her question. Through the blurriness of the tears Amy thought that she saw a faint smile crossed his face. 

“Yeah. Is that okay?” He asked her. The doubt in his voice felt like a stab to the heart. How could even question if it was okay that he would want to marry her?

“Yes.” She said her voice not showing any sort of hesitation. “I mean not right now, but eventually. I’m sorry that I read those.” She pointed at the other envelope that was still sitting on the coffee table.

“It’s okay.” He said. Amy looked at the coffee table which was still filled letters that were addressed to her. She had to urge to grab every single one of them. Stay up all night long memorizing every word that he had written, but she knew that she shouldn’t push him. 

“I think it’s sweet that you wanted Charles to teach me how to drive stick shift. I still need to learn.”

“In one of these letters.” He gestured to all of them on the table. “I said that if I died in the mafia that you could have my car, but then I remembered that you didn’t know how to drive it.” Amy laughed into crock of his neck where her head was currently located. “Also, how do you still not know how to drive stick shift? That’s what we're doing this weekend. No arguing.”

Amy opened her mouth to protest but decided that he had been way cooler than she expected him to be when he walked into the apartment, their apartment, and found her reading those letters. “I love you.” She said having nothing else to say.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure I loved how this turned out but I thought I would post it anyways. Feedback is greatly appreciated :) Find me on instagram @natnatcarson


End file.
